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Parenting age lower then marriage age?

It seems to me that now if a 25 year old woman says she has no kids, people think "oh my, you don't have kids yet?" but if she says she's not married, she gets a "well you're too young, you have your whole life ahead of you."

I don't think people think that about children. I think once you turn 30 then you get the "oh, you don't have kids".

I will say that I think our culture is more accepting of women who have children with out marriage (be that teen or not) than of women that are married without kids.

At least this is how it seems. They may not accept it in their core values but, they don't ask questions or wonder.

My examples of society...

1) I was married at 18 because I fell in love with my husband and we wanted to be married. I was planning to wait until after college orgionally but, my father kicked me out. I went to live with my husband and after about a month (and him proposing and saying he'd marry me tomorrow if he could...it was up to me) I decided if we were living like a married couple...I wanted that bond. I wanted him to be my husband forever! So... I did what society would find the "right" thing. Next thing I know people are asking when the baby is due! I was honestly shocked. Society is so hipocritical.

2) My husband and I were at a fair in line for for drink. A teen comes up behind me with a baby in a stroller. I comment to my husband and the teen how cute the baby was and the teen and I were talking about the baby. Nearly the first thing she says to me is..."Oh, yeah, we came out today b/c it was so nice. He's my older sister's...he's not mine." In no way was I saying the baby was her's...she seemed too young for a baby...HOWEVER...this shows that this girl being helpful to her family was (obviouslly) judged by society.

So, I think it really depends who you talk to as well. If you go to a mom's group or a mom group of women they may feel "oh, no, you don't have kids!!" Because they want you to experience the same joy they feel.

TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION (finally...lol). I think the best age biologically to have kids conflicts with our increasing view of pushing marriage back. I think people do not support people marrying early, as I did, and they accept (althought don't believe in) people having children at probably a suitable biological age.

What do you think of that sort of responce? Even though people may not believe in it...they expect to see it.

I personally believe that we should respect all people. If you want to marry then marry. If you have a child do what you feel is the best thing for that child. If you think you're not a position in your life where you want to be married or have children then wait until you are sure and/or want that. Don't do either of these major life choices unless you want to and you feel you're ready.

Good luck!

Momversation: Parenting In the Age of Google

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